I can't exactly say I've been myself lately. Nor do I have the same group of people around me like I did this time last year. I do have a funny way of dealing with things. More so, stress. I shut myself off from EVERYBODY not just one person everybody. I become sharp with my words and I turn into a pink hulk (green just doesn't fascinate me). That's just the way I deal with it, not a very good way I must say. Earlier this year I was under a great amount of stress. I had my plan and things weren't working out the way I wanted. I shut of from some of my closet's friends. Out of the 4 and can I add these were my best friend's that I considered sisters only one walked away. The one that got away was going through her own things at the time and I feel as though she could have misconstrued the way I was acting towards her as
JEALOUSY. It's been a few months now, we still haven't spoken. Sometimes I find myself searching up her facebook page just to ask how she's doing. I haven't had the chance to sit down and really examine how I'm truely feeling. Until TODAY..
Truth is, I'm happy. Not about the end of the friendship. The fact that this made me realize how supportive my best friends are. They knew I was going through things, they didn't care if I shut them off. One of my friends even sent me this:
"Where the f*ck is my bestfriend gone? Can you tell her
that we miss her and when she stops being so f*cking depress
that we're here for her. Thanks, your sincerely, ________"
Hahahaha that is honesty at it's finest. As down as I was that day, I couldn't help burst out with laughter. I thought wow, I haven't spoken to this person in 2-3 weeks and she knew something was up and she didn't take any offense, she was ready to help me. I shed some light of my situation to her and she completely understood. She supported me in the way I was dealing with it and we were able to move past it all. All my best friends are the best, I feel so much more closer to them then ever.
I have nothing but love for my friend that I no longer speak too. We shared some pretty amazing times together and that's what I hold onto. Not one situation that stopped us from talking. If at some point we continue to be friends again "cool" and if we don't then that's "cool" too.
Losing one friend meant I was having a bad day, not a bad life. There are gonna be heaps of people come in and out of my life. It's the ones that stay that truely matter the most.